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Sunday, December 10, 2006 @ 9:17:00 PM
FINALLY managed to contact my long lost yet never forgotten friend. haha... lots of thing has happened since we haven met. we used to meet once a week... it is time to go back to old times ok gal? haha... thats how much i love you... oops. my ex.. what else are you? haha...
i have always been happy with you! and I WILL definitely go out with you sometime soon... cannot be too sure.
coz i got things to settle. things that cause my life to turn almost topsy turvy. things that caused me to cry while walkin back home from the mrt station. things that make me break down after a couple of drinks in front of jui peng. things that made me feel so hurt i lost touch of myself. it made me so crazy. it made me feel so painful inside. so painful i cant stop crying even while bathing. it made me so hurt that i forgot what i was doing, forgot who i am. this is how serious it is. now i still cant stop crying. i am weeping all over again writing this post. cant stop. i have forgotten all about my feelings and onli noe how to please others. my heart is hurting again, wait. did it ever stop hurting? my eyes are swollen. but tears still flow like water flowing from the mountains. it can never stop can it? it is eating me inside out. i am almost empty. but i am stopping it alr. din noe it could do such a damage. cos it was numb at first. but now it hurts too much to be true. it is like a nightmare, never knowing when you will wake up from it. i want to wake up. thats why i am drinking, it is also destroying me. so hurt. now the pain is numbing pain. ergh. liyana, help me. stop this. support me before i do stupid things again. help me stop crying. will you be there? will you not leave me? will you disappoint me? ergh. stupid tears.
